|
|
2004-03-15 ~ 11:50 p.m.
Listening to: "Commerce, TX" Ben Kweller Not in a very good mood. I read an entry from before when I complained about how I used to hold back a lot of stuff that makes me truly depressed or truly angry. But according to a variety of people, I wear my emotions on my sleeve. In a way they're right. I've turned into, for lack of a better term, an emo kid. Which is something I think I may have always been even before there was a name for it. I spent my whole life trying to be neutral and just be happy all the time, and in doing that I became this loud and just over-the-top person, which was never my intent. But I grew into that identity, and I grew to accept it and not try to make any big changes. Up until this year, that is. Somehow all of the negative emotion that I never learned to express in any other ways except writing has finally started to surface and just all bubble over all at once. As a result I get crying bouts and days when I don't want to like even look at anyone or be anywhere or do anything besides sleep. And yeah, I have gotten some negative feelings out to a couple people but it's always online, always in written word and not verbally. Sometimes you need to SAY something in order to have it totally purged from your brain, you know? Sometimes you need to tell a person, a real live person, not a moniker on AIM or a freaking Xanga. And then there are times like this when no one seems to want to talk about this kinds of stuff and the only place I can turn is to writing. So I guess in a way I haven't changed much from my old Emily Dickinson-esque self. I just more frequently have public nervous breakdowns, is all. Okay, I think I'm over my bad mood now. Goodnight, D-land!
Falling Upward ~ Falling Downward
Miss Anything? i'm portable - 2005-02-16 busy making big mistakes - 2004-06-12 i'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you - 2004-03-21 hello darkness - 2004-03-17 another night slips away - 2004-03-15
All words � MM 2001-03 |
>Who<
>Fun<
>Design<
|
|
|
