|
|
2002-05-23 ~ 5:05 p.m.
Listening to: Listening to: "Goodbye to Love," The Carpenters. It's such a sad songs *tear*. So today this kid who I know who moved away was supposed to come back to visit, and me and a couple of other people were supposed to meet him at our old middle school. Well, someone didn't hold up their end of the deal. Yup. He didn't show. We were all so mad, because we were wasting a beautiful afternoon, but instead of beating up one of the sixth graders we went inside and harassed my old English teacher from last year, Mr. Swaney. Now let me just say that Mr. Swaney is the coolest teacher I have ever had. He didn't preach and lecture us on anything, he assumed that we knew what we were talking about and tried to get us to apply our knowledge. What a concept. I was one of his favorites. I still am. He's young (graduated college in 1997) and easygoing, and is the kind of guy I would want one of my cousins to marry. He's a musician (plays the guitar) and smart (DUH he's an English teacher) and doesn't mind making fun of himself. I talked with him for about twenty minutes and then I had to go pick up my little sister and Swaney had to drop something off somewhere. I miss being an 8th grader. This year has just sucked so much that I want to be in junior high again. That sounds so dysfunctional but right now it's true. What else did I realize today? Oh, that my band is going to be so bad tonight at the concert. The entire rest of the music program at my school is absolutely amazing. I'm not bragging or anything...Okay, yes I am. But our instrumental and vocal departments have won first place in virtually everything they have entered. Our Jazz Band, led by Mr. K, takes first place in every festival they go to. It's just really cool, and last year I was super excited to be inducted into this society of upper-class musicians. But what do I end up with? The Freshman Wind Ensemble. Good Lord, even the name sounds horrible. We are so bad, in so many ways. I swear sometimes I think the members of our band don't know what a whole note is (and if you don't, I'll tell you that it is a note held out for four beats in common time). Half of them, including a whole bunch of my friends, only take band because it's an easy 100% on your GPA. It makes me absolutely sick. And what makes me more sick is that my name is printed in the program, alongside their names. Aggh. Excuse me. *runs to the bathroom and throws up* Alright I'm okay. Not that I'm any better than them, but I am motivated to get better at my instrument. I play the flute in Frosh Wind Ensemble, and that's the instrument I am probably the weakest in. I know I suck, but I like to play it anyway. If I didn't want to play the flute anymore, I would quit. It's as simple as that. Sometimes I'm discouraged by my dad, who says "Why do something if you can't be the best at it?" but to me it's not like that. I play music because it's in me. I can't ever remember a time that I wasn't interested in playing any kind of music. Who cares if I suck at it? As long as I don't play alone, in front of people, it's okay. Oh but wait. I do play alone. In front of people. Ack. Okay so maybe I don't completely suck at the flute, but I'm not considered "good" either. Basically I can fake it so that people who don't play the flute or listen to flute music won't be able to tell the difference. But hey I've always got the piano to fall back on, and if all else fails, the guitar. I am still listening to the Carpenters. Every time I listen to them it brings back memories of my old house and me singing Carpenters tunes with my mother in the kitchen. Come to think of it, the earliest memory I have of listening to music is back when we lived in our old house and my dad played "Yesterday Once More" while I was sitting in the family room. That is still one of my favorite Carpenters songs. *tear* Memories. Okay this entry is too long but I had fun writing it! Bye everyone and if you are reading this then telepathically send me luck for tonight at the concert!
Falling Upward ~ Falling Downward
Miss Anything? i'm portable - 2005-02-16 busy making big mistakes - 2004-06-12 i'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you - 2004-03-21 hello darkness - 2004-03-17 another night slips away - 2004-03-15
All words � MM 2001-03 |
>Who<
>Fun<
>Design<
|
|
|
