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2004-06-12 ~ 2:08 a.m.
Listening to: Listening to: Sounds of Silence (the real sounds of silence not the song) I thought of closing this diary but couldn't bear to see this wonderful and amazing layout go to waste. I am sad to say that I am not the same writer that I was this time last year... too much has happened to me in the past year and it unfortunately has not been documented in this diary... you can check out my Xanga to see that wonderful development. I think I am a self-proclaimed bipolar. I have to be self-proclaimed because my parents don't believe in clinical depression. I don't know what to do. I don't know what triggered it. All I know is when I am happy I am like insanely, unstoppably (..that's a word) happy, and when I am on a low you wouldn't even recognize me. I have been through a lot but I have to just jump back into this diary and explain things as they go... I hope it works out. I wish I were still happy-go-lucky, optimistic, and a bit whimsical. I liked myself better when I was like that, last year. Unfortunately I've been jaded. Badly. Maybe the reason so much crap happened to me this year was because I stopped writing in here. I'll bet that's it. Well, that's settled. If I want to stay sane I have to keep writing in here. I got two job applications today, one to Delia's and one to Aeropostale. I really really have never wanted to work in retail but at least if I work at those stores I will get an awesome discount. The reason I can't work in retail is cause I can't stand folding. And also I think I would be bad at being nice to people. I need to like, be a factory worker who picks out the imperfect cupcakes in the Tastykake snack foods assembly line. That job requires little to no people skills. Spain came and went. I had an unbelievable time and came back a totally different person. I love the people, the food, the sights--everything. I can't wait to go back. I got my driver's license. I have a car. I also have more freedom than I ever could have hoped for. I see myself as using my freedom wisely. For now, anyway. And now, my dears, I end the entry because I need to go to sleep. I don't know if I will update daily but I won't forget about this diary, really.
Falling Upward ~ Falling Downward
Miss Anything? i'm portable - 2005-02-16 busy making big mistakes - 2004-06-12 i'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you - 2004-03-21 hello darkness - 2004-03-17 another night slips away - 2004-03-15
All words � MM 2001-03 |
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