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2002-07-30 ~ 9:32 p.m.
Listening to: Listening to: "Everything goes--and everything fits! They love me at the Chelsea they adore me at the Ritz!" hahaha Today's my daddy's birthday. Yayyy Daddy. For he's a jolly good daddy for he's a jolly good daddy. Anyway. He liked his Chicago Greatest Hits boxed set, and he liked his Eagles Hell Freezes Over DVD, but he wasn't too crazy about the shoes. He wants them in black. Me and my mom were like Okay, you go out and search for them yourself then. But we knew that he was probably going to have an issue with the shoes, that's why we usually don't buy him clothes or anything like that for his birthday. He opened his presents this morning without waking any of us up! I was like...loser. I wanted to be there. But he called later and said he liked it. But :( We ate at Applebee's, isn't that terrific? Yeah I had fajitas but I couldn't finish any of it so I had it wrapped. Exciting, no? Then we went to Barnes and Noble and I got a new copy of Alice's Adventures In Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking Glass. Oh, and I bought a Starry Night mousepad. Yup. It was more exciting than your average Tuesday night (unless you're, like, Madonna) but I'm still kinda bored. Oh yeah! While I was at Barnes and Noble, I was looking at dictionaries with my dad (don't ask) and I opened up this one dictionary called like "The Dictionary of Difficult Words." And I read the word "cellarer" out loud, and said "That's a word??" to my dad, but he was like farther away from me, so of course just as I say that these two kids around my age walk by, and I heard one of them say something like, "You know those people who just talk to hear their own voice?" And I didn't catch the rest of it because by that point I was like *steam comes out of her ears* I was NOT talking to no one! I'm not a freaking Shakespeare character! But what am I going to do? I don't even know that guy, and I don't plan to know him, ever. Buuuut anyway. Lindsay and I are talking about auditioning for this youth orchestra, the Garden State Pops. It sounds like fun, but I don't really feel like going through all that audition stress. I'm kind of a "play for the joy of playing" person, you know? And while I'd be overjoyed if I auditioned and made it into the orchestra, I really don't think I have a chance. I auditioned for a few other things (namely, this piano concert and the school placement audition), and I bombed on both of them. I'm just not an audition-friendly player. When I feel like my ability is being judged, I feel stupid. Because I know I'm not spectacular, and it's extremely evident to whoever is judging when I play. But my parents think that my mentality is really bad, because they all think that if you play an instrument, you should be the best at it, and that there's no point in learning unless you're going to do something with your talent. And you know what, I think that my parents' philosophy on music is the same as pretty much every other musician's. But that doesn't mean I can't sit down and play the piano, just because I like to play the piano, and I can. That's probably why I like the guitar so much. It's my stress-free instrument. I can just pick it up and play it without worrying about a certain piece, or performing for someone, or sounding good. I have a feeling I would like practicing piano so much more if I didn't feel like I had to prove something about myself all the time. I really should see some sort of psychologist, to find out where these inhibitions originated. It's probably all my parents' fault. Hmm so there were two overreactions in this one. The first one up there, about the "talking to herself" thing, I rate a 8 out of 10, mainly because I dwelled on it for the whole rest of the trip to Barnes and Noble. And the whole music audition thing, I rate a 4 out of 10, because that's not a true overreaction, it's a mentality I've had since I was young. With that, I'm off. Off to see the wizard.
Falling Upward ~ Falling Downward
Miss Anything? i'm portable - 2005-02-16 busy making big mistakes - 2004-06-12 i'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you - 2004-03-21 hello darkness - 2004-03-17 another night slips away - 2004-03-15
All words � MM 2001-03 |
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