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2002-09-11 ~ 10:15 p.m.
Listening to: Listening to: Huh? I'm pretty much really sleepy right now, but Lindsay insists that I write a September 11th commemoration entry, so I will. It's not like I'm completely devoid of things to say about this event, anyway. And I did mean to write one earlier, but I had previous commitments. Sorry. So hmm, where do I start? Where was I when I heard the news? I was in 2nd period, and Mr. Gallagher, my school's principal, came onto the loudspeaker and said "Hello students and faculty, I have some important news to share." I was expecting something like "The lunch ladies have gone on strike so the cafeterias will be closed until we can solve this problem." But what did I get? "We have just received news that an airplane crashed into the World Trade Center this morning. This was confirmed to be an act of terrorism." And he said more after that, but I don't remember at all because I pretty much went into a complete state of panic. Almost everyone around me was looking around in confusion. None of us were really aware of what was happening, except for our teacher. We had a long-term sub for the first few weeks, and he was extremely upset. He even had to put his head down for a little because he was so overwhelmed. In 3rd period Mr. Gallagher put the radio over the loudspeaker and the entire school listened to the events as they happened. I remember feeling awful because I didn't want to be in school any longer than I had to. When the news reporters on the radio totally lost it and started breaking down, I wanted to die. I figured if the news anchors, people who are trained to stay calm when they report tragedy, couldn't handle something like this, then why should they expect a bunch of teenagers to have to deal with it? I remember just wanting to go home so I could curl up in my bed and feel like I was safe. I wanted to be with my family, with my best friend, anywhere but at school. The rest of the day went pretty much the same way. A lot of people were really confused as to what was going on, and a lot of people didn't get it at all, and were being very nonchalant, which made me furious because I just wanted to let them know that this was really upsetting some people (namely, me) and that it's very rude to belittle someone that way. And then I came home and turned on the TV. That was when the actual visual images came together with the horrific pictures I was making inside my mind, and that's when I lost it. My sister came home and I totally freaked at her. I turned on the TV and we watched it together, crying and asking each other why someone would do something like this to us. But like a lot of people, I got over it. I stopped noticing that almost every house had a flag. And eventually, the flags really did come down. And I stopped getting chills when I heard patriotic, nationalistic songs like "America the Beautiful." And eventually, the radio stations stopped playing songs like this. And so today was the one-year anniversary. And I didn't really know what I was going to do with myself. I personally don't like to commemorate devastating events, but I knew it was inevitable that the subject would be brought up today. I honestly rather would have not talked about it. It doesn't help me to cope. But we talked about it anyway. And oh yes, I did wear red, white and blue. I'm not a communist or anything. I love my country. But I don't like to talk about September 11th. It feels like I'm glorifying the actions that those terrorists chose to commit. And that's the last thing I want to do. I think that having a girl from another country living with me during September 11th really changed my perspective of where America stands with the rest of the world. This morning Elena and I talked a little about where were and how we felt on September 11th. Something that she said when we were walking to the bus stop really made me happy. She said to me, "I hate the terrorists. At first I didn't really know about them. But after September 11th, I hate the terrorists. What they did to New York, I hate them for it." And that almost made me cry. It really made me realize that the other nations of the world are with us, or at least the citizens are. Elena said herself that she didn't even know much about terrorists, and just because a group of terrorists attacked America, she hates them for it. I'm not sure if everyone will understand what I'm saying, but all I know is that what she said impacted me in a huge way. I'm not sure I'll ever like the idea of commemorating September 11th. I'll never celebrate it, and I hope no one ever will. But I'll always remember. And isn't that good enough?
Falling Upward ~ Falling Downward
Miss Anything? i'm portable - 2005-02-16 busy making big mistakes - 2004-06-12 i'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you - 2004-03-21 hello darkness - 2004-03-17 another night slips away - 2004-03-15
All words � MM 2001-03 |
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