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2002-11-09 ~ 11:33 p.m.
Listening to: Listening to: Nothing, but I've got various show tunes in my head. Just got back from Julie Drezner's house. I wasn't allowed to sleep over, because I have to play at church tomorrow, and I didn't have any clothes, and also cause Lindsay just slept over last night. So :( but oh well. I was having a lot of fun too; her family is very warm and open, and they love me, according to Julie. I am apparently a member of the Drezner clan now. All simply because I play the piano and guitar and know the words to lots of songs. Oh, and cause I'm the funniest person on the face of the planet. Of course. But really I have this big issue with my friends' families not liking me. I get so paranoid and depressed when I feel like my friends' moms don't like me. And not just "like" me like "I think she's a nice girl," but "like" me like "Oh yeah!! Melissa!! She's GREAT!!" I mean, I know not everyone's parents are gonna think of me that way (and hardly anyone's parents actually do), but that is one of my ultimate goals--to have everyone like me. Kind of an empty, unattainable goal, eh? Oh well, a girl can dream. I REALLY want to see a Broadway show now. The Drezners are like ultimate Broadway family and they've seen like every big show that's come out in the past 4 years. I'm JUST seeing Les Miz, the mother of all shows, on November 30th. I feel so behind. But then again I have Julie to fill me in on everything that happens in all the shows I want to see. Except Rent. I was very shocked to hear that she has not seen Rent yet. But it's because her sister Renee's too young to watch it and her mother won't take her to a show that she can't take Renee to. I think that's a good reason. Doesn't everybody think that's a good reason? Yes. Well I've talked about other people's families for long enough. I could always talk about Lindsay's family, but that's why she has her own diary. She's very critical of her family, though. I agree with her that her dad can be a butthead (and more, but I won't get graphic), but her mom is like the best mother in the world and I really admire her for putting up with 3 craz-ay kids and an overbearing, womanizing husband. Her brother is an okay kid, but you'll never hear Lindsay say that. I think it is easier for me to be with pre-teen age and teenage kids like Lindsay's brother and Julie's sister than it is for me to deal with younger kids. I don't know why. A sense of panic creeps into me when I am alone talking to a little kid. Probably another disorder to add to the list. Emily, Lindsay's little sister, is pretty cute, but most of the time I am just like hey...go away...I'm here to hang out with your sister, not you. But I am really jealous of the way that Lindsay and Emily get along so well. It's like they're mother and daughter rather than sisters. I'd like for my sister and I to get closer--maybe not quite as close as Lindsay and Emily are, but it'd be nice if we could have a normal, yelling-less conversation. As much as I say that I want to fix the relationship between me and my sister, it's pretty much impossible. Even while we are having fun, or when we are having a normal conversation, there is a sense of dorkiness there that just reminds me of myself at her age. I guess this is the reason that my mother and I don't always see eye to eye. My mother, my sister and I are all so similar when it comes to our tempers and our arguing habits. Which is why if you put us all three into one room and bring up a controversial topic, we'll probably have killed each other by the end of the day. Okay, maybe we'd all just be really mad at each other. But, you know. This entry started out as a recap but turned into a big, philosophical, let-me-talk-about-myself entry. So yes, I'll stop it now before I start musing on which came first, the chicken or the egg. Goodnight, Diaryland. I'm off to watch SNL!
Falling Upward ~ Falling Downward
Miss Anything? i'm portable - 2005-02-16 busy making big mistakes - 2004-06-12 i'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you - 2004-03-21 hello darkness - 2004-03-17 another night slips away - 2004-03-15
All words � MM 2001-03 |
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