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2002-11-29 ~ 1:35 a.m.
Listening to: Listening to: "Stand By You," The Pretenders. Note how I only listen to this song when I'm about talk about how upset I am. This would have been a very nice Thanksgiving entry, except for the fact that my Thankgiving was ruined by the combination of my dad, my uncles, and about 39480048402 shots of Dos Dedos tequila. I hate it when my dad gets drunk. Every time I see him drunk I lose a little more respect for him. He's no alcoholic but he also won't hesitate to have a beer or some wine. What, you thought our basement bar was for show?? Anyway, today he was totally hammered. And I mean like completely incoherent drunk. I've only seen him this drunk one other time--and that time scared me so much that I locked myself in my room and wouldn't speak to him for three days. You would think that now that he's the father of two very impressionable children that he would be a little more responsible with his actions. I realize that he's an adult and it's his preference to drink, but getting wasted during a family party in front of about 7 people under the legal drinking age is far from an adult action. Seeing him like that, it's hard to understand what I ever admired in him. I wonder if this is how Lindsay feels all the time. No wonder she feels so uncomfortable around her dad. I'll get over this, I'm sure I will. But experiences like these are the ones that force me to refrain myself from drinking and doing drugs, and, well, basically making the wrong decisions. So I guess in a way, it's something like a father sacrificing his dignity in order for his daughter to witness first-hand how detrimental his wrong decisions can be. Hey, who knows? God works in mysterious ways. On the other hand, the rest of my family (aside from the one uncle he was drinking with), was peachy keen jelly bean. My cousins and I had a blast. We had enough food to feed a third-world nation. In retrospect, I do have so much to be thankful for. My parents aren't perfect, but they're not abusive coke-addicts who beat each other. My sister is a little off sometimes, but she'll eventually grow into an intelligent, quirky, eloquent individual. I'm priveliged enough to live and attend school in a district that is nationally recognized for academic excellence. I've been blessed with the ability to turn lines and dots on paper into music. My friends and the people around me are the best friends that anyone in my place in the world could ask for. Around this time of the year I always begin to put things into perspective and switch my priorities around. I'm never satisfied with myself--my parents taught me that. I hope this holiday meant something, anything to all of you, something other than a day to stuff your face. Thanks for listening, DiaryLand. Goodnight.
Falling Upward ~ Falling Downward
Miss Anything? i'm portable - 2005-02-16 busy making big mistakes - 2004-06-12 i'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you - 2004-03-21 hello darkness - 2004-03-17 another night slips away - 2004-03-15
All words � MM 2001-03 |
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>Fun<
>Design<
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