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2002-12-30 ~ 7:13 p.m.
Listening to:  That's me and my little sister (I'm on the left), having a little too much fun with the webcam. I taught her how to take pictures and upload them and put them on her diary. Such an important skill in life, I know.  This is me and my puppy doggy, Hickory. Don't you all see the family resemblance?? Yes, I know I have to back off with the webcam. But once the novelty is gone, I promise there will be no more pointless, experimental pictures. I did nothing today. Absolutely nothing. SHM was on the whole day, but I only talked to him for a little because in the middle of the conversation he went to his neighbor's house to play with like a hovercraft or something. I was like ::sniffle sniffle:: You're leaving me? But I got over it. He's still on now, but his away's been up since like 4:00. Loser. Okay, he's not a loser. But I wish he'd come back. Tomorrow's New Year's Eve and I'm spending it at the house of some person I don't know. True, some of my mom's side of the family will be there, but in general it's going to be people I've never met and will never meet again. It's New Year's Eve. We always used to spend it at my cousin Abbey's house because New Year's Eve is her birthday. But now that she's too old for family parties, none of us really know what to do. Hence, my typical New Year's Eve consists of sitting alone on my parent's bed watching the countdown and feeling pretty alone. Not a great way to start off a new year. I just wish that I had a more positive attitude about new beginnings. Honestly, I am usually relatively optimistic about change and starting over. But along with that always comes a feeling of leaving it all behind and closing a door. In some cases, like last school year, that was a good thing. But most of the time I just want things to stay the same. I want to remain in my comfort zone for as long as possible. And New Year's is always an unnerving experience. Its symbolic meaning holds more gravity with me than the literal. The whole idea of a clean slate, a fresh start, is inspiring, and at the same time, overwhelmingly intimidating. It's like Michael Cuccione (R.I.P) said in MTV's 2Gether, "I am the master of my own destiny!" And while that's pretty amazing, it also is a huge responsibility. If I screw up, it's no one's fault but mine. I want to make the most of every day, and yet there are those pointless days like today where I just wonder what I'm even here for. I don't know. I guess it's just the Winter Break boredom setting in. Not to worry, I'm going back to school on Thursday. (Collective groan) Yeah, I know, school sucks. But at least I will feel useful in some respects. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking forward to turning in a 200-point History assignment, or taking a Vocab midterm, I just want to go back to seeing people other than my own family, and actually doing something with my day. Man. I must be really bored. This entry's just about finished. Maybe tomorrow I'll post some resolutions, or something. Good night, D-land!
Falling Upward ~ Falling Downward
Miss Anything? i'm portable - 2005-02-16 busy making big mistakes - 2004-06-12 i'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you - 2004-03-21 hello darkness - 2004-03-17 another night slips away - 2004-03-15
All words � MM 2001-03 |
>Who<
>Fun<
>Design<
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