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2003-01-08 ~ 10:05 p.m.
Listening to: Listening to: "I'll Stand By You," The Pretenders. Uh-oh. We all know what this is leading up to. I don't listen to this song unless I'm totally depressed. Just found out that a really awful rumor is being spread about one of my best friends. Apparently someone started telling everyone that she's a lesbian, which is completely untrue--I've seen her in her most guy-crazed moments, and trust me, this girl is hardly lesbian material. Or at least not in my eyes. Not hers either, and that's what matters. I was thinking before when she told me about it, that as long as she knows it's not true, who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks? But then I thought about it. And I wondered how I would feel if that rumor was being spread about me. Don't get me wrong, I honestly have nothing against the concept of homosexuality or anything, it's just not my preference. If one of my relatives or closest friends came out, I'd probably be really shocked at first, and then maybe get over and think, "Okay, that's what's good for him/her." But it's not for me. And if someone started spreading a rumor like that about me, I would feel offended and hurt. Not because I have hatred for gay people. But because...I don't know how to explain this. Let's say that people started telling everyone that I was Korean. Now I have absolutely nothing against the Korean people, but I'm not Korean. I don't want people to think I am, because I'm just not. It's insulting that people would first of all make false assumptions without even knowing me at first, and then second of all try and spread those false assumptions just to have something to talk about. I'm proud of all the things I am, and I try hard to not resent all the things that I am not. When you take a swing at my character, my personality, my being, you have done me the most amount of harm that anyone could ever do. Chew on that one, folks. I'm very worked up about this, as you can see. I have always had big issues with the social structure (if you can call it structured) of high school and teenage life. I know it's been like this forever but I just hate it. Why does everyone insist on making appearance so important, and on cursing each other out in the hallways just to feel older, slandering someone simply because they're not fully decked out in American Eagle, and basically creating a lot of unecessary drama in a potentially simplistic kind of life? I don't know if life gets any easier as you get older, but I hope to God that the people get more mature. I'm not in a bad mood, guys, just a pensive one. I'm very enthusiastic when it comes to my opinions on society. I know I'm only 15 but I feel like I have a lot to say that deserves to be heard. Maybe those ideas are just starting to develop, and in a few years I'll actually have complete thought processes to share with the world instead of just open-ended premises. I have always wanted to change the world. I ultimately plan on doing that one student at a time, as a teacher. But if I can get one person to read this and maybe think, "She has a good point," and then remember that every time he/she thinks about starting a rumor or making fun of someone, then I know I'll have gotten through somehow. I doubt this will happen anytime soon...but it's definitely going on my to-do list.
Falling Upward ~ Falling Downward
Miss Anything? i'm portable - 2005-02-16 busy making big mistakes - 2004-06-12 i'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you - 2004-03-21 hello darkness - 2004-03-17 another night slips away - 2004-03-15
All words � MM 2001-03 |
>Who<
>Fun<
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