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2003-01-22 ~ 10:16 p.m.
Listening to: Listening to: I'm in my sister's room, hence, no m�sica. Long story. So yeah. My computer's finally lost it. Won't start up for anyone, not even my dad. He says to fix it he will have to clear the memory and start from scratch. Not exactly what I was hoping for. And you know what? This has happened twice before with this computer. XP. Is. The Devil. What more happened? Lots, actually. Today I was honestly on the verge of a nervous breakdown--well, relatively. I think Lindsay got the full effect of it, when I completely bitched at her online about things she had no control over. Eep. Sorry bout that one. Basically it was about my self-esteem, my view of myself--physically and intellectually--and what my parents have done to (in a way) shatter my self-confidence. Not like, punch-the-mirror shatter. But more like accidentally bumping a mirror against a table and creating one single crack in the glass. If that makes sense. Anyway, it's all over now. Rather than make a big deal out of this all, I just let it be. Whatever, so today I was feeling really down. I think my mother sensed it, in that way that mothers do, and so she wasn't overly critical today. I recover quickly from these kind of emotional spasms. I think I do too much to kind of make myself look content most of the time, when really I'm pissed off about one thing or another. I just don't want people to think I'm always feeling sorry for myself or something. Cause I don't. But everybody needs to get depressed sometimes, right? But anyway. On to more riveting topics. American Idol weeeeeeeeee. ::Commence Jersey-esque uni-sentence (must be spoken extremely fast):: There's this one guy, and he's related to John Adams, and I think his name is like JD Adams or something, only I call him John Adams son, cause well I don't know why, and well he's SUPER fine, and he has a nice smile, and a really good voice too, and now I want him to win, and there's this other guy, who's 16, and really good, and not as hot, but he can sing, and that's cool, cause he's 16, which is my age, but he doesn't look 16 at all, and Paula Abdul called him "soulful," which was really cool, and... ::Jersey-esque uni-sentence complete:: That's all for tonight. Tomorrow I am A) getting a cavity filled, and the B) going to piano where I will possibly see HGE. I will take everyone's advice and talk to him anyway, but there isn't even a guarantee that he will come down into the basement to wait at all. So we'll see what goes down. Adios y buenas noches.
Falling Upward ~ Falling Downward
Miss Anything? i'm portable - 2005-02-16 busy making big mistakes - 2004-06-12 i'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you - 2004-03-21 hello darkness - 2004-03-17 another night slips away - 2004-03-15
All words � MM 2001-03 |
>Who<
>Fun<
>Design<
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