2003-02-12 ~ 10:14 p.m. goodnight my angel time to cloooose your eyes
Listening to:
Listening to: More of that D�gale song. Oooh prettyness.
HA. I just practiced piano for like 45 minutes STRAIGHT and I think I really got somewhere. All of a sudden I got all motivated and stuff. Probably because I realized that I have lessons tomorrow and my piano teacher got really pissed off at me last week. Yeah, that may have had something to do with it.
Today I watched MTV True Life: I have a phobia and it was really interesting. Especially the girl who was afraid of midgets. That one seemed totally, totally irrational. But I guess you can't control what you're afraid of. I used to think I had like a million phobias, but then I realize that when you're truly afraid of something, you like get all shaky and panicky and can't breathe, and I'm not too sure that there's anything that makes me do that. Hm, I have compiled a couple of lists:
Things That Do Not Scare Me.
Cats and dogs and other furry creatures. They're cute, come on now.
Heights. Nope. I don't really care.
Flying. As in, a plane. That kind of ties in with the heights thing. Although, when you think about it, there are several reasons to be scared of flying. Buuuut I just won't think about it.
Social situations. I like being with people. I like to think that people like me. It works out.
Things That Cause Me Discomfort and Worry
Spiders. I don't like em but I can also get near one if I need to.
Reptiles. Yuck, they're gross. They're like tiny monsters. Ick ick.
Drowning/the concept of drowning. Self-explanatory, I think.
Sharp, pointed objects. I do not like knives or scissors or wooden barbeque skewers, but if it is just sitting there on the table I can pick it up and cut veggies and stuff.
Michael Jackson. What is WITH him?
Failure/Rejection. But I won't break out into hives if I am rejected. I will just get super-upset and harass people about it and write about it in here.
Things That Have Caused Me to Hyperventilate and/or Break Out Into Hysterics
Flying insects. Do not even get me started. Crawly bugs, I can handle, because I have the advantage over them--I'm bigger, I can kill them with my foot. But flying bugs?? I can't fly! They can like, buzz around me, and...stuff! Well, it sounds scarier in my head. Anyone who has been around me when there is a flying insect in the room knows that I'm a total mental case. It's bad.
People brandishing and/or threatening me with sharp, pointed objects. I am relatively okay if there is a simple knife sitting on a table counter. But once someone besides myself picks up that knife, I'm out of the room, FAST. In the two incidents where people have threatened me with a knife (one was a "joke" by one of my friends. NOT LAUGHING. And the other time, my mother was angry with me while she was cooking, and she held up a butcher knife, and some kind of cave-man reaction took place in my brain and I flipped shit), both times I a) ran away, b) after running away, froze in terror, and c) began crying and shaking. I'm not sure why. But I did. Ugh, bad memories.
So those are my phobias/not-so-phobias. I know you all care.
One more thing. American Idol. All went as planned. Although Hadas did not make it in (sigh), the 2 truly vocally talented people did, and that was a nice refreshing change of pace. Although I have to observe the fact that image seems to count for a lot in the entertainment industry now, I am glad that at least some people are somewhat beginning to look past outside appearance. See, look at that. I can tie American Idol into some kind of current event. Maybe I will become a History teacher instead of and English teacher--then I can force my students to believe my sociological theories. Weeee.
I think that's all for tonight. I had fun writing this entry, hope you all had fun reading it! Goodnight, D-land
