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2003-07-31 ~ 9:15 p.m.
Listening to: The radio I CAN'T BELIEVE my DAD. Every time I even just point out a simple difference between our family and Lindsay's family he takes it as an attack on him and my mom. I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MY FAMILY I HAVE NEVER, EVER, EVER been ashamed of my family and I can't believe that he would ever FOR A SECOND think that I can't believe my own FATHER doesn't even know me well enough to know that my most prized possession, my REASON FOR EXISTENCE, is my FAMILY and everything we stand for I am so upset right now. I have never wished I wasn't Filipino. Ever. So I don't act like an average Asian-American teen. So my family isn't as hospitable as other families around here--maybe we like to keep to ourselves, we're just more family-oriented. I have NEVER, EVER questioned that before I shouldn't even have tried. I should have known that my dad would get all offensive. But he told me I was ASHAMED. Anyone who knows me knows that one of my favorite things to talk about is being Filipino. I have never ignored my culture. You know, I just wish he knew what it was like to try and balance out two different cultures. They have NO CLUE what it's like to be raised in America with different customs. I have always loved the fact that I have two cultures to learn about and appreciate, but you know it's not all wine and roses or whatever. There are some really, really ignorant people out there, I know that...my dad thinks I am so naive. He doesn't think I could have possibly EVER, EVER experienced the discrimination he has. But I HAVE. I've experienced MORE, because kids, LITTLE 4-YEAR-OLD KIDS, can be the harshest critics. But did that ever make me ASHAMED of being raised Filipino?? NO!!!!! If anything, it made me PROUDER. I just wish they could see that. They think just because none of my friends are Asian that I'm doing all I can to distance myself from my roots. I'm SORRY THAT I DON'T LIKE HANGING OUT WITH THE ASIAN MAFIA. I'm SORRY THAT I LIKE TO PICK AND CHOOSE MY FRIENDS NOT DEPENDING ON THEIR RACE. I'M SORRY! I probably should stop writing before I say something I really, really regret... ..thanks, D-land, for listening.
Falling Upward ~ Falling Downward
Miss Anything? i'm portable - 2005-02-16 busy making big mistakes - 2004-06-12 i'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you - 2004-03-21 hello darkness - 2004-03-17 another night slips away - 2004-03-15
All words � MM 2001-03 |
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