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2003-09-10 ~ 10:59 p.m.
Listening to: you-can-be maaaaaad in the morning (do-dee-do-dee-do), ill take back what i saaaid Wowwwwww I definitely OWN Heavier Things and I definitely LOVE it with every singer fiber in my body and I want to marry John Mayer simply because I need to know him in some way and being his spouse just seems like the easiest way. So Ilana and Lindsay and I have been flipping out about the CD to each other ever since Ilana and I both got ours today. Everyone who saw me with the CD this morning knows that I was like "EEEEEEEE" and like clutching the CD with both arms all scared I would lose it or something. I've listened to it 3 times now and I just can't get enough. He is too good to be in existence. It's just not possible. He's got to be some kind of superhuman. Like an X-men character whose mutant power is to write the best songs EVERRRRRR. Okay other than that...Had a major ordeal today. I had to tell Linda that I can't play at church on the 20th because I'll have a marching band game that day. I felt so STUPID telling her that. I mean...truthfully, I completely did not want to play on the 20th but there was absolutely no reason for me to turn down her request. Not like I wouldn't be ready in time; I'd make sure I was ready, it's just that it's extra stress that I don't necessarily need right now. But I feel so guilty about it. I mean technically I could leave the game early to make it back in time. But I really don't want to do it. And that makes me feel like a really bad person. It doesn't really help that my dad told me it was a matter of "religion vs. entertainment." Bullshit. It's a matter of the fact that I will become so burnt out within the first 3 weeks of school that I'll want to throw myself out of my window. I need to make some decisions for my mental health, you know? I just feel so awful about committing to doing something and then suddenly pulling the rug out from underneath them and saying, "oh, never mind. Marching band is more important than you." SNIFFLE. I hate having to make decisions. It's too late to take back the decision now. I've already emailed Linda and she's already responded saying not to worry because there's a guy who plays every Saturday mass anyway. I just feel like I've let someone down. I don't really know what I'm feeling right now. But I don't really like it. I'm going to bed. Goodnight, D-land.
Falling Upward ~ Falling Downward
Miss Anything? i'm portable - 2005-02-16 busy making big mistakes - 2004-06-12 i'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you - 2004-03-21 hello darkness - 2004-03-17 another night slips away - 2004-03-15
All words � MM 2001-03 |
>Who<
>Fun<
>Design<
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