2003-10-01 ~ 8:18 p.m.
all your liiife, you were only waiting for this moment to arrive

Listening to: viva forever!! i'll be waaaiting! everlasting, like the sun!

Today my mom showed us all of her old pictures from when she was 16.

I don't know what's wrong with me but I almost couldn't bring myself to tell her how pretty she was. Not just compared to now, either. She was gorgeous, she like glows compared to all of her other friends in the pictures.

Why couldn't I say it? Would that be admitting that even though I am your daughter and I am now at the same age as you in those pictures, and I never will look, nor have I ever looked, as pretty as my mother was? I said something to that extent during dinner and my dad tried to make me feel better. He was like, "You look just like your mom, Melissa! If you could just lose all that weight you'd be so pretty."

Gee, thanks Daddy. The sad thing is, I know he's right. There's just never been the right time for, like, intensive weight loss in my life. I don't enjoy playing sports, don't ask me why not. I understand why people like them but I just can't get into it. So I don't get regular physical activity, which is kind of essential for any kind of physical shrinkage. I could do things that I do like, such as those fun MTV Grind videos, but frankly this year I don't have time, between all the after-school practices and homework.

So basically I'm screwed and I'm going to look like this for a really long time, and plus when I get older and have kids I'll get even larger. It's like Melissa, the Ever-Expanding Woman. Haaa, that would be funny if it wasn't kind of depressing. Yeah.

Anyway moving on!!!!

Good things about today:

-Spanish test was suprisingly easy.
-Boys!!! Enough said.
-A kid in MB's mom brought their little doggie when she came to pick him up and he was so adorable and I got really excited and probably made myself look like a psycho dog-napper. But that's okay.
-In Band we are actually starting to sound like something (with the intensive help of Mr. Yurko)...but not much of something. Like, a mediocre something. We'll never be ready for the Fall Preview concert. But at least we're REALLY LOUD!! Ha.
-Badminton is a super-fun game when you are playing 2-on-1 and you're on the 2-player team.
-Lunch continues to be the best part of my day. Today I made some commentary on the latest issue of Teen People, which Lindsay had.
-A boy is talking to me! Present tense! I am too cool!
-Well, that's all. But I just wanted to have one more little dash.

Alright, I'm off to go watch a Spanish soap opera! Great fun, I know! Goodnight, D-land.

Falling Upward ~ Falling Downward

Miss Anything?

i'm portable - 2005-02-16

busy making big mistakes - 2004-06-12

i'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you - 2004-03-21

hello darkness - 2004-03-17

another night slips away - 2004-03-15

All words � MM 2001-03

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