2003-11-21 ~ 10:34 p.m.
look at the stars... look how they shine for you

Listening to: Music that is loud enough to get the "turn down your music!" knock on my wall from my parents haha

You know I just really hate making a spectacle of myself.

Today in Fridays I got all frazzled because of this big family crisis that has been happening for a while... I just hate to pull my friends into my family problems. Oh well I guess it was better to just get it out. I kind of feel better but mostly I feel stupid cause now I'll be obligated to give like, updates and stuff. It's the kind of thing I don't like to think about even when I'm by myself, let alone with a group of people. It just brings down the mood so much.

But anyway.

Today after I got home I just went upstairs and fell asleep listening to Coldplay. I had a freaky dream about all the people who I went to dinner with but I can't remember it now. I woke up and fell back asleep intermittently for about 4 hours. I will never fall asleep tonight.

I have been a really confused person for the past couple of days. It apparently hasn't been showing too much cause one of my friends asked me the other day, "How do you stay so happy all the time?" which maybe I took the wrong way but is still indicative of some things. I don't know. I never found it necessary to wear my heart on my sleeve. I only do it from time to time, with really special people :)

Now I'm kind of more relaxed than when I got home... okay a LOT more relaxed. I think it was the falling asleep to Coldplay factor. It subconsciously made me happier. Now I'm listening again and thinking more clearly and having more positive thoughts. Yay for the Power of Music! (TM)

Good Things of Today:

-The Pilates video we did in gym today entertained me like full on.
-Ilana drove me to Friday's!!! Ahh so much fun. We are going to have so much fun from now on. Good clean fun, mind you. But fun nonetheless.
-"Spiritual Lovemaking" Wow, don't even ask.
-I just got the "Your music is too loud!!" knock on my wall from my mother. For some reason that amuses me so much.

Well I'm going to leave so I can.. not sleep. Seriously I'm so awake right now it's unhealthy. I dunno what I'll do but it won't involve shutting my eyes for extended amounts of time. Goodnight, D-land.

Falling Upward ~ Falling Downward

Miss Anything?

i'm portable - 2005-02-16

busy making big mistakes - 2004-06-12

i'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you - 2004-03-21

hello darkness - 2004-03-17

another night slips away - 2004-03-15

All words � MM 2001-03

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