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2003-11-24 ~ 10:23 p.m.
Listening to: a chooka chooka chooka joong a joong a joooong Entry from last night! Aww my sister learned her first song on the guitar, awww. I want to go play it with her. Hold on a second. ::5 minutes elapse:: Okay woo! Awesome. Gee I hope she learns more so we can be like the guitar-playing sister duo and impress everyone. She could be good. I started learning the guitar around her age, too. And now look at where I am!! ... Maybe I should hope for her to be a little bit better than I am haha. No but seriously I think I'm pretty good, especially cause I learned from my dad, who is amazing. I can't figure songs out by ear as well as he can but once I know the chords I pick up on songs pretty quickly. And I'm getting better at it, too. Whee for self-esteem! I'm pretty happy cause I didn't have too much homework and even though I started it late I got it done in a good amount of time. But you know, I really hate how my happiness depends on the amount of schoolwork I have. It's way too much of a deciding factor. I want to be happy just to be alive, as cheesy as that sounds. I don't want everything to rest upon how much homework gets assigned for the night or upon how many people are online or upon what shows are on TV tonight. I just want to be able to get past all the surface stuff and be really, truly happy. I've realized about myself, though, that once you do get past all the surface stuff, I'm just as unhappy and confused as every other teenager. I am currently talking on the phone with Lindsay. So I am neglecting this entry. We are talking about the Bible. No joke. Only with Lindsay can I discuss both text messaging rates AND religion. Wow it's taken me almost an hour to write this entry cause I was on the phone with Lindsay the whole time. I'm just gonna keep talking and finish when she has to go. Hold please. ::15 minutes elapse:: Hello. My dad reinstated the online time limit. 10:30 on weeknights, midnight on weekends. What the hell. I feel like a child. I need to be able to make my own boundaries. When I go to college my dad's not gonna be there to turn off the Internet whenever he thinks it's time for me to go to bed. So I'm writing this entry in WordPad now. Blehhh. This time limit thing is stupid. Whenever I have the time limit I just wait until he falls asleep anyway so I can go downstairs and finish up whatever it was I was doing when the Internet shut off. Therefore I actually end up staying up later than I would be if I didn't have any time limit at all. Of course, if I tried to use this reasoning with him he'd think it was just some kind of mind game to get him to take away the limit. Raa. Wow just glanced back up at the beginning of this entry where I complimented my dad on his guitar playing skillz (with a z). I definitely have a love/hate relationship with my parents. I should be happy to have parents that I get along with at least some of the time but when we fight I always want to like, die. Especially with my mom. You'd never know she carried me for 9 months, hearing some of the stuff she says to me. It might not be that bad but it certainly isn't benefiting my mental health in any way, this constant rollercoaster of liking and hating my parents. I guess everyone feels this way, eh? Or at least that's what I'll tell myself. Goodnight.
Falling Upward ~ Falling Downward
Miss Anything? i'm portable - 2005-02-16 busy making big mistakes - 2004-06-12 i'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you - 2004-03-21 hello darkness - 2004-03-17 another night slips away - 2004-03-15
All words � MM 2001-03 |
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>Fun<
>Design<
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