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2004-01-25 ~ 10:15 p.m.
Listening to: "One Angry Dwarf," Ben Folds I need a snow day so incredibly badly right now. My English teacher was at church today while Lindsay and I played the flute, and her husband was singing REALLY REALLY loudly and I kept laughing. At the end of the whole mass she applauded really loudly and I was like ::hides behind organ:: I dunno why it was so embarrassing. Blah I can't show my face in English now. I am feeling kind of down right now, for no specific reason. I think that my life is so idle and fruitless that it leaves me with way too much spare time to just think and wallow in my feelings. Feelings, as I have learned recently, SUCK. I wish I wasn't so full of happiness and sadness and anger and frustration and all those other emotions that...well, basically make us human. But being human is so painfully tragic. I wish I didn't hurt for no reason sometimes. And I wish the happiness I feel sometimes would never end. But, for the ULTIMATE paradox, it is the pain and anger I feel sometimes that, in comparison, makes the happiness so much better. Blah BLAH. This is all stuff that everyone besides me has figured out already. Nothing I do feels important anymore. I'm constantly living in someone's shadow. I just want to be noticed; I just want to be special. (Cue Radiohead's "Creep.") I just read the entry back and I really should stop myself before I get to sounding more melodramatic than I already do. I promise I'll sound less manically depressed later on. Goodnight, D-land.
Falling Upward ~ Falling Downward
Miss Anything? i'm portable - 2005-02-16 busy making big mistakes - 2004-06-12 i'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you - 2004-03-21 hello darkness - 2004-03-17 another night slips away - 2004-03-15
All words � MM 2001-03 |
>Who<
>Fun<
>Design<
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