2004-03-14 ~ 11:02 p.m.
a trail of ruby red and diamond white

Listening to: "Home," Beauty and the Beast soundtrack :)

Well... off goes AIM again. I think this gives me the right to start reading Xangas again since now my Lenten sacrifice is AIM. Well I don't know, maybe it'll be back on tomorrow. But somehow I highly doubt that. He's pretty mad.

I don't know if I will ever become de-sensitized to my parents being mad at me. I know they same all the same things to me every time but it doesn't make it hurt any less. Sometimes it seems like they say things for the express reason of hurting my feelings. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I don't think anyone's supposed to purposely hurt the feelings of the people they "love." I don't know. Maybe they think that by lowering my self-esteem to levels uncharted by any scale of measurement, I'll somehow become a more diligent/organized/helpful/skinny/smart/talented person. Hey, it could happen.

Seriously though, every time they get mad at me for like one small thing it always snowballs into this huge mess of Reasons Why I Suck. It just gets harder and harder to hear them say this stuff, every time. It's really pushing me to the edge of complete depression. I know my problems are not as bad as a lot of people's out there, but they're affecting me in a really negative way and I just want it to stop.

Ugh, new topic.

So I just worked on a research paper from 3:00 in the afternoon until right now. Yeah, right now. Ummm is this how it's going to be for the rest of my life? Cause I think I like might pass on that, thanks. Unecessary stress over a topic that will mean nothing to me in the future? That's alright.

I'm excited about John Mayer/Guster (which is in 4 days, thank you). I am really looking forward to hearing the songs from his new album live, plus a couple of my old favorites... 3x5, Neon, Why Georgia, and Comfortable especially. I hope he does some of that. I am psyched to hear Guster live again, even it if is in a huge venue. It'll probably be really cool.

Alright, time to go, I only have these Internet priveliges for a limited time until he pulls the plug again.

Night D-land I love you!

Falling Upward ~ Falling Downward

Miss Anything?

i'm portable - 2005-02-16

busy making big mistakes - 2004-06-12

i'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you - 2004-03-21

hello darkness - 2004-03-17

another night slips away - 2004-03-15

All words � MM 2001-03

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